Dying to get out of this place

Have you ever felt that you were dying?  I mean really that its eminent or you are near death?  Maybe a close call with a sickness or accident? I just experienced that this morning.
My mind was flooded with thoughts and my heart with emotions.  It must be like that whenever someone dies because we hear stories similar to that often.  It must be very human to have your thoughts racing.
I am ready to die, I have trusted Christ as my Savior and believe that His sacrifice on Calvary paid my sin debt to God.  I'm at peace that way, I don't question that I will go to heaven, and I am so very thankful to God for that blessed assurance.  But I realized I'm not ready to go yet.  I have more to do here.  More people to love.  Especially my husband and children and grandchildren.
That's what was the most prominent thought running through my mind in just a split second.  More to do.
When is enough, enough? How much good can we do to leave a legacy? What is a legacy or inheritance may be a better question?  What exactly of importance does one leave behind?  Does anything we do truly matter?  What will people remember about us when we are just a memory?  I am grappling with these thoughts today.  I think of  legacy as a life theme; what is my life theme?  How will people sum me up once I'm six feet under?  What will carry on?
Do you ever think like that?  These are all new thoughts for me, for the most part.  I have thought a little bit about this topic, but never really been faced with the question right between the eyes, until now.
I want to be remembered as one who was loyal to Jesus.  How showered people with His mercy and His grace and His truth and His love.  Only His legacy matters, truly.  That's the beauty of God's plan, it all should circle back to Christ's self-sacrificing characteristics.
Thankfully that's the only inheritance I can leave behind for I have no property or money, to speak of.  Which is just as well, because that usually divides a family rather than draws them closer to one another anyways.
So today, I am focused on telling those around me what they mean to me and what Christ means to me.  No more beating around the bush!  I'm going to call the kettle black (whatever that means).  My perspective is just that, its mine, and they can't argue with how I see things!  I, of course, do not wanted to be offensive, just bold and honest.  I told my husband, immediately that I wanted to love him better, deeper, and a whole lot longer!  I waited most of my adult life to find someone as genuine as he is, I'm not ready to give that up or take that for granted ever again.
I am fairly certain that I will recover from this episode, but there will come a day.  As my husband always says, "we all have an appointment with death, and that's one appointment we won't break".