What we see will violate what we know unless what we know dictates what we see.  Lysa Teurkerst

Mothers Day, a day for Mothers

I have been trying to gather my thoughts about Mothers day lately and have found that I am pretty scattered.  Kind of like a shotgun blast.  I have known, experienced, and been all different types of mothers in my day...
My own mother was a divorced mother in an era that didn't see this as 'normal'.  She was a hard worker and taught me a lot about being self sufficient.  I followed in her footsteps and started out my motherhood journey as a single mother, thinking I was progressive and didn't need a wedding band or a spouse.  I learned quickly that raising a child does truly take a village and a spouse.  Its simply not ideal to raise a child without the benefit of a mother and a father.  It hurts the child and causes them have have an unbalanced view of life and themself.  A child truly needs to be raised with a man and a woman to see the whole picture of what life means.
I've known mothers who are in a marriage, but once the baby comes, the husband is thrown into the backseat while the baby gets all their attention for themself.  This is also harmful.  A marriage, at least the way God designed it, is to be the primary relationship in a family.  That relationship is what allows the children to see the proper way men and women are to love and serve one another.  God knew this, but unfortunately this easily gets distorted in many homes.  God made Eve as the helpmeet,  I've heard it said that the women was created out of the side of Adam so that they would walk together, side by side  When a mother lets their children become first place in the home, they create tension and a false view for the child.  
I've also known mothers who smother their children so much with love and affection and protection that the child is at a total loss if the Mother is not near them.  Now truly, a newborn needs their mother near by, but the goal of motherhood should include teaching our children to make their way in life.  We aren't always going to be there and we can't possibly protect our children from every harmful thing, nor should we.  Life hurts sometimes, and their are simply things that have to be learned the hard way.  Thankfully, God gives us His Word as a guide to life.  
My main thought about motherhood, is something I have come to realize as I work with women and young girls.  Women have a hard time with change.  There, I've said it, we simply do not like to change from one season to the next.  I started realizing this when Jay and I came to Zion.  As I started working with women more closely, and seeing the painful things that happen in life.  I realized how difficult this is for a lot of women to accept that life changes and that includes us.  We aren't always going to be what we are right now.  It will change and we can either go with it or fight it.  
When my grandmother died many years ago, for some reason, that I still don't understand, the family asked me to give the eulogy for her.  I was lead to Ecclesiastes 3, it was fitting then and is fitting now, so I leave you with these words...  I read the KJV at her funeral, but since then I have come to love the Message version, 

There’s a Right Time for Everything

3 There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

^2-8 A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

^9-13 But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.

¹⁴ I’ve also concluded that whatever God does, that’s the way it’s going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God’s done it and that’s it. That’s so we’ll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.

¹⁵ Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That’s how it always is with God.

sometimes you just got to go for it

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Therapeutic hugging

When I was in high school I read a book that impacted me in a way that I remember it to this very day... Love, by Leo Buscaglia.
I used to give that book with wedding gifts, probably still could.  There is s story in the book that Dr. Buscaglia shared about a student that was once in his class, who committed suicide, and nobody in the class even noticed she was gone.  How very sad.
He was forever changed from having had this experience and it launched him into the art of human touch and hugging.  He spent the rest of his life speaking and hugging his way around the country.
It is a definite need that we humans have, to be touched and to touch one another. It heals, it restores, it improves our psyche.
I would highly recommend finding a copy of this book and reading it, it may just change your life, too.

James 4:1-12

James 4 New International Version (NIV)

Submit Yourselves to God

 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. ⁴ You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? ⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

¹¹ Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. ¹² There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

You are now entering the mission field

Kansas is not my home...
After I got saved I was dumbfounded to meet missionaries that actually devoted their lives to a mission calling.  Who left their familiar surroundings to venture out into a foreign land and minister to and share the love of Jesus with people who were different than them.
You see, my upbringing (in the Mormon religion) taught that missions weren't so much a calling, but a duty; a 'right of passage' per se.  Young people were expected to give 2 years of their lives to a predetermined mission field.  It was something that was pretty much a requirement.
So, to meet people who literally felt called to leave the comforts of their home and family and friends, and devote their lives to living in a place that is foreign to them, was pretty much a crazy thought, in my mind.
I'll never forget the first time I met my friend Christine, she and her husband and kids were on furlough, back in the US from their mission in Zaire (now Democratic Republic of Congo-Congo for short....),  They were staying in the parsonage home of the Baptist church where I attended (and got saved) and were invited to share with the congregation an update on their mission life in Africa.
I was enticed, and attended the special meeting.  Christine and her husband, Dan had all these beautiful blonde hair, blue eyed daughters and I couldn't wrap my mind around how they could raise them in a place like Zaire.
After Dan gave his update, Christine addressed the audience from the podium complete with a slide show...
Her first comments where how when she and Dan were dating she knew full well that Dan (a redheaded white man) had been raised in Africa by his white missionary parents. Dan is actually the third generation of this particular family ministering in Africa.  She prayed that God would not send them to Africa!  
But after they were married, that's exactly where they wound up!
She pulled up the funniest slide picture of all of them in a group (family) photo wearing mismatched clothes that were missing buttons and some of the children had on broken glasses.  She said this was the idea of life on the mission field that she had in her head!  How hilarious!
I also remember her sharing her heart for the 'nationals' that she and Dan and their family ministered to in Africa.  How their hearts ached because of the dire situations that a lot of people were in there.  She shared about the malnourished children whose hair had turned red because of their poverty stricken diets that were missing simple things like salt and minerals.
After hearing their story that night, I was so struck by the extreme basic needs of these dear people that I went out and bought containers of table salt and boxes of baby cereal and brought them to Dan and Christine to take back with them to Africa.  She was gracious enough, and accepted my gift, probably wondering how in the world to pack such items to take to Africa!  I was naive then, but my heart was in the right place!
Over time, I started really learning the Bible and my heart was truly becoming sold out to Jesus.  I started wishing I could be a missionary someday, but it seemed impossible and unrealistic at the time...
Fast forward to today, Jay and I are now living in a place that is very foreign to us, is not our culture, and is far far away from our loved ones and everything familiar!
We do joke at times, that we are in a mission field, right here in Kansas!  And truly so, because the only reason we are here is because we love Jesus and feel called to minister in Abilene.  I wonder if anyone even realizes that at times?  I was talking to my Dad recently on the phone and lamenting the fact that no one wants to come to Kansas to visit us.  I said how I don't blame them, Kansas doesn't mean anything to our loved ones as this is not their home.  Whenever we get a chance to, it is us that have to travel to our family and visit them in their homes.
I love praying with my husband, we do that together every morning.  His heart always defaults to pray for the people in our church first and foremost before family.  It is actually very endearing to me.  Of course I love and am burdened for our church family as well, but its not my default setting to put them before our own family, like he does.  That leaves me baffled some times, because truly his heart is burdened for those we live among.
It is hard living in a foreign place; and lonely, too.  Holidays are the worst.  We are right smack in the middle of the heartland surrounded by a multitude of families, good American born and bred families, that work together and play together on a regular basis.  We are always thrilled to see generations of families sitting together on a church pew any given Sunday.  But, it truly magnifies our loneliness at times.  Its hard to describe or understand.
But this is our calling, it is the center of God's will for our lives; so we submit and live to the glory of God.

Psalm 103

Psalm 103 The Passion Translation (TPT)

Our Father’s Love

103 King David’s song of praise
¹ With my whole heart, with my whole life,
    and with my innermost being,
    I bow in wonder and love before you, the holy God!
² Yahweh, you are my soul’s celebration.
    How could I ever forget the miracles of kindness
    you’ve done for me?
³ You kissed my heart with forgiveness, in spite of all I’ve done.^[a]
    You’ve healed me inside and out from every disease.
⁴ You’ve rescued me from hell^[b] and saved my life.
    You’ve crowned me with love and mercy.
⁵ You satisfy my every desire with good things.^[c]
    You’ve supercharged my life so that I soar again^[d]
    like a flying eagle in the sky!
⁶ You’re a God who makes things right,
    giving justice to the defenseless.
⁷ You unveiled to Moses your plans
    and showed Israel’s sons what you could do.
⁸ Lord, you’re so kind and tenderhearted
    to those who don’t deserve it^[e]
    and so patient with people who fail you!
    Your love is like a flooding river
    overflowing its banks with kindness.^[f]
9 You don’t look at us only to find our faults,^[g]
    just so that you can hold a grudge against us.
¹⁰ You may discipline us for our many sins,
    but never as much as we really deserve.
    Nor do you get even with us for what we’ve done.
¹¹ Higher than the highest heavens—
    that’s how high your tender mercy extends!
    Greater than the grandeur of heaven above
    is the greatness of your loyal love, towering over all
    who fear you and bow down before you!
¹² Farther than from a sunrise to a sunset—
    that’s how far you’ve removed our guilt from us.
¹³ The same way a loving father feels toward his children—
    that’s but a sample of your tender feelings toward us,^[h]
    your beloved children, who live in awe of you.
¹⁴ You know all about us, inside and out.^[i]
    You are mindful that we’re made from dust.
¹⁵ Our days are so few, and our momentary beauty^[j]
    so swiftly fades away!
¹⁶ Then all of a sudden we’re gone,
    like grass clippings blown away in a gust of wind,
    taken away to our appointment with death,
    leaving nothing to show that we were here.
¹⁷ But Lord, your endless love stretches
    from one eternity to the other,
    unbroken and unrelenting toward those who fear you
    and those who bow facedown in awe before you.
    Your faithfulness to keep every gracious promise you’ve made
    passes from parents, to children, to grandchildren, and beyond.
¹⁸ You are faithful to all those who follow your ways
    and keep your word.
¹⁹ God’s heavenly throne is eternal, secure, and strong,
    and his sovereignty rules the entire universe.
²⁰ So bless the Lord, all his messengers of power,
    for you are his mighty heroes who listen intently
    to the voice of his word to do it.
²¹ Bless and praise the Lord, you mighty warriors,
    ministers who serve him well and fulfill his desires.
²² I will bless and praise the Lord with my whole heart!
    Let all his works throughout the earth,
    wherever his dominion stretches,
    let everything bless the Lord!

Phil 4:4

Sometimes I'm not very nice

I've been going through some 'stuff' in my personal life lately.  One of those times when I seem to be at odds with myself and others at times.  I get caught up in the pressures of life and seem to disproportionately dump on those closest to me.  It's my humanness at its worst.
Then the Lord, in His mercy, steps in and reminds me of the important things, those eternal and everlasting things.
So thankful that His mercies are new every morning!
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